My cry for help dealing with PTSD counties to go unanswered by my command

Frank the tank

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#1
My cry for help dealing with PTSD counties to go unanswered by my command. As if
I am playing an elaborate game. I have been diagnosed with PTSD since 2007.
Since being stationed at Fort Bragg since June 2012 and have been plagued
with . I know That I am not the only in the Area that has this problem or
the only one who has issues with their units command. However I know I know
that the inpatient felicities 6th south on Fort Bragg are a Joke. The only
job is to stabilize you and send you back to your unit. Most of the time the
issues that you go in for are not addressed. You leave there feeling worse
than when you go in. Then once you're out you must follow up with Behavioral
Health then your appointments are so few and far between at most your may be
able to get 2 appointments a month then you may get or may not get to see
the same psychiatrist because sometime the just leave without notice I May
self have been diagnosis with PTSD, Alcoholism, anxiety ADHD and insomnia
These issues have gotten so bad that I am now getting sent though the MEB
for it.
I am afraid of losing control. It seems like every day its becoming
harder and harder for me to get up and put on a smiling face, pretending
that I am not sad. Sometimes I have to go and sit in my car because I just
feel out of control of my own emotions and spend 20 minutes crying. I spend
a lot of time alone just thinking about my life and it seems hard to cope
with the simple things I find myself drowning in a sea of pain.
For the first time in my life I am afraid, I feel as If I am not in control
of my life. It seems as if my mind wants me to down the path of
self-destruction, yet there is something in me that won't allow me to quit.
During the day my mind can stay engaged on something most of the time,
however once night falls my life changes totally. I find myself wanting to
go to sleep and being exhausted not from working, but from my mind just
racing all day. Even with the taking 4 different medication that by
themselves would make me drowsy.
They Army have drilled in our heads that we must be resilient and remain
flexible. I can only bend so much before I break. It's starting to become
abundantly clear that this battle with PTSD is one I am left to fight alone,
at times I feel close to surrendering. I fear I am not getting better, and I will most certainly deteriorate more as time goes on unless I can figure this all out.
 

ranger2992

PEB Forum Veteran
Joined
Jul 16, 2011
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#2
My cry for help dealing with PTSD counties to go unanswered by my command. As if
I am playing an elaborate game. I have been diagnosed with PTSD since 2007.
Since being stationed at Fort Bragg since June 2012 and have been plagued
with . I know That I am not the only in the Area that has this problem or
the only one who has issues with their units command. However I know I know
that the inpatient felicities 6th south on Fort Bragg are a Joke. The only
job is to stabilize you and send you back to your unit. Most of the time the
issues that you go in for are not addressed. You leave there feeling worse
than when you go in. Then once you're out you must follow up with Behavioral
Health then your appointments are so few and far between at most your may be
able to get 2 appointments a month then you may get or may not get to see
the same psychiatrist because sometime the just leave without notice I May
self have been diagnosis with PTSD, Alcoholism, anxiety ADHD and insomnia
These issues have gotten so bad that I am now getting sent though the MEB
for it.
I am afraid of losing control. It seems like every day its becoming
harder and harder for me to get up and put on a smiling face, pretending
that I am not sad. Sometimes I have to go and sit in my car because I just
feel out of control of my own emotions and spend 20 minutes crying. I spend
a lot of time alone just thinking about my life and it seems hard to cope
with the simple things I find myself drowning in a sea of pain.
For the first time in my life I am afraid, I feel as If I am not in control
of my life. It seems as if my mind wants me to down the path of
self-destruction, yet there is something in me that won't allow me to quit.
During the day my mind can stay engaged on something most of the time,
however once night falls my life changes totally. I find myself wanting to
go to sleep and being exhausted not from working, but from my mind just
racing all day. Even with the taking 4 different medication that by
themselves would make me drowsy.
They Army have drilled in our heads that we must be resilient and remain
flexible. I can only bend so much before I break. It's starting to become
abundantly clear that this battle with PTSD is one I am left to fight alone,
at times I feel close to surrendering. I fear I am not getting better, and I will most certainly deteriorate more as time goes on unless I can figure this all out.
Military onesource is a good option for you. It sounds like your level of trust for BH community on that post is gone. Onesource will at least get you to an outside source where you can discuss your issues. If you are thinking of hurting yourself or others, tell them and get the help you deserve. Don't go this alone and don't think the Army is the only place you can get help.

If you need anything in the lines of advice, or something I can help with, PM me. I will get you my number and do my best to help you.

Joe
 

grizz13

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Feb 13, 2012
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#3
Frank, I cannot express enough that you are not alone in the way your are feeling right now. Same as Joe, PM me also if there is anything I can help you with.
 

Warrior644

PEB Forum Veteran
Registered Member
Joined
Mar 4, 2013
Messages
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904
#4
My cry for help dealing with PTSD counties to go unanswered by my command. As if
I am playing an elaborate game. I have been diagnosed with PTSD since 2007.
Since being stationed at Fort Bragg since June 2012 and have been plagued
with . I know That I am not the only in the Area that has this problem or
the only one who has issues with their units command. However I know I know
that the inpatient felicities 6th south on Fort Bragg are a Joke. The only
job is to stabilize you and send you back to your unit. Most of the time the
issues that you go in for are not addressed. You leave there feeling worse
than when you go in. Then once you're out you must follow up with Behavioral
Health then your appointments are so few and far between at most your may be
able to get 2 appointments a month then you may get or may not get to see
the same psychiatrist because sometime the just leave without notice I May
self have been diagnosis with PTSD, Alcoholism, anxiety ADHD and insomnia
These issues have gotten so bad that I am now getting sent though the MEB
for it.
I am afraid of losing control. It seems like every day its becoming
harder and harder for me to get up and put on a smiling face, pretending
that I am not sad. Sometimes I have to go and sit in my car because I just
feel out of control of my own emotions and spend 20 minutes crying. I spend
a lot of time alone just thinking about my life and it seems hard to cope
with the simple things I find myself drowning in a sea of pain.
For the first time in my life I am afraid, I feel as If I am not in control
of my life. It seems as if my mind wants me to down the path of
self-destruction, yet there is something in me that won't allow me to quit.
During the day my mind can stay engaged on something most of the time,
however once night falls my life changes totally. I find myself wanting to
go to sleep and being exhausted not from working, but from my mind just
racing all day. Even with the taking 4 different medication that by
themselves would make me drowsy.
They Army have drilled in our heads that we must be resilient and remain
flexible. I can only bend so much before I break. It's starting to become
abundantly clear that this battle with PTSD is one I am left to fight alone,
at times I feel close to surrendering. I fear I am not getting better, and I will most certainly deteriorate more as time goes on unless I can figure this all out.
Welcome to the PEB Forum! :)

It saddens me to read such feedback, but please remember that you are not alone throughout your ordeals with PTSD and now while in the DoD IDES MEB/PEB process!

To that extent, we are here for you and to provide any potential assistance as feasiblely possible.

Moreover, please feel free to PM me about your PTSD demons or anything else on your mind; as such, I am still trying to cope with my PTSD since 2007 and it's a continuing daily struggle for sure!

Thus, I quite often comment that "possessing well-informed knowledge is truly a powerful equalizer."

Best Wishes!
 

DaPatsRIll

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Messages
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#5
Frank, I have dealt with similiar circumstances where i am actually afriad to tell my command about my conditions, even tho it is on my MEB board. The best advice I can give is try to see if there is a Vet Center near you. They are completely seperated from the military adn even the VA. They are not allowed to release any information to either the military or VA unless you request it, examples would be for your MEB or for the VA disability rating C&P appiontments. I am in the Marine Corp and like the Army PTSD is looked at as for the weak and people just try to ignore it. It is not for the weak at all, we can not help how our minds and bodies react to the things we have experienced and real men and women get the help they deserve and need to over come this awful stuff. What I really enjoy about the Vet center for me is I go I talk to a social worker who is there to help you through give you pointers and also is not part of the military. they help you with reajustment and anything you need. I looked on the vet center web site and there is one with in 10 miles of Bragg, here is the info
Fayetteville Vet Center
4140 Ramsey St. Suite 110, Fayetteville, NC 28311
Phone: 910-488-6252 Or 877-927-8387

Remember man it is a hard thing to over come and deal with but there are tons and tons of people out there who want to help you and literally there jobs are to help you. I have had great experiences at my local Vet Center and I wish you the best of luck. Stay strong buddy
 

Warrior644

PEB Forum Veteran
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Joined
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#6
Frank, I have dealt with similiar circumstances where i am actually afriad to tell my command about my conditions, even tho it is on my MEB board. The best advice I can give is try to see if there is a Vet Center near you. They are completely seperated from the military adn even the VA. They are not allowed to release any information to either the military or VA unless you request it, examples would be for your MEB or for the VA disability rating C&P appiontments. I am in the Marine Corp and like the Army PTSD is looked at as for the weak and people just try to ignore it. It is not for the weak at all, we can not help how our minds and bodies react to the things we have experienced and real men and women get the help they deserve and need to over come this awful stuff. What I really enjoy about the Vet center for me is I go I talk to a social worker who is there to help you through give you pointers and also is not part of the military. they help you with reajustment and anything you need. I looked on the vet center web site and there is one with in 10 miles of Bragg, here is the info

Fayetteville Vet Center
4140 Ramsey St. Suite 110, Fayetteville, NC 28311
Phone: 910-488-6252 Or 877-927-8387

Remember man it is a hard thing to over come and deal with but there are tons and tons of people out there who want to help you and literally there jobs are to help you. I have had great experiences at my local Vet Center and I wish you the best of luck. Stay strong buddy
Welcome to the PEB Forum! :)

Hmm, this is very useful information in my opinion; good deal! :cool:

To that extent, I may look up the nearest Vet Center in my area for additional assistance.

Thus, I quite often comment that "possessing well-informed knowledge is truly a powerful equalizer."

Best Wishes!
 

Warrior644

PEB Forum Veteran
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#8
It all just hurts my head to think about
Indeed, as do I with daily migraine headaches albeit I continue to persevere for the primary benefit of my family for sure; then for myself too!

Thus, I quite often comment that "possessing well-informed knowledge is truly a powerful equalizer."

Best Wishes!
 

moozerboy

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#9
Wow Frank the Tank, this post kind of makes me ill. I try to read a few posts on this site each night (I only found it a week ago), and there seem to be quite a few in your boat unfortunately.

I think the first thing you need to do is put yourself before service. I know that is reverse of service before self and it isn't easy for any of us to do that, but if you have such strong symptoms, you aren't helping anyone by not getting the help you need.

Nights seem to be the hardest for me as well, and I'm sure it is for many. During the day, we are doing our jobs, seeing our families, and involved in the world around us. The trauma is always there, but during the day it is easier to keep the worst at bay. During the night however, that is when it hits a lot of us. For me, when night falls I often find myself back in Iraq. The filters of the busy day are removed and the things that are causing you harm are magnetically pulling your thoughts towards them.

Fort Bragg may be ignoring you, but there are tons of people, groups and organizations that never will. I suggest sharing on this page as you seem somewhat comfortable doing so, but also seeking help from some other sources such as:

Your local Veterans Service Officer is-
Todd Shockley
Veteran Service Officer (Certified)
Telephone #: 910-677-2994
Fax #: 910-677-2964
E-mail: [email protected]

Your VSO should be able to get you some confidential help right away, and can help you during your MEB process.

The Veteran's Crisis Line @ 1-800-273-8255. You can also live chat with them online at http://veteranscrisisline.net/?banners I contacted these guys almost two years ago and they kept it completely confidential. Nothing was ever shared with my unit.

You need to escape from the thought that you are not alone as you can get help. PTSD is unfortunately a lifelong struggle, but there are ways to minimize the affects, and you need to go around your command to find them.
 

tony292

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#10
The only way you will get a grip is to talk to somebody, anybody. I am a company commander... Probably one of the few that give a shit about his soldiers. I currently have an NCO with PTSD, TBI, MDD and alcoholism. He has a toxic marriage where his wife screams and curses at him. He bottles in and internalized everything. Anger, PTSD and alcohol are an explosive mixture! This is a recipe for disaster and explains why he has had one DUI and two domestic violence incidents in the past 12 months. His latest arrest results in him now having to wear an alcohol ankle bracelet monitor. If you have thee three ingredients you will slip and lose control, not a question of if but when. Take one or two of the ingredients out of the mix ASAP!

My soldier also has near zero ability to be introspective, to reflect on his feelings and as why he feels the way he does and very little ability to open up and speak about his inner demons, all he will say is that PTSD counseling is "bullshit" and skip every other appointment. Actually going to the appointments and talking to the counselors would help him but he isn't ready to open up it is very tough hard work and requires manly men to be vulnerable, maybe even cry a little bit.
 

DaPatsRIll

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#11
Frank as you can see there a ton of people who are out their to help, and also a ton of people who care. The military is suppose to be your family and help you and take care of you. If you are shot or injured in battle a solider, marine, airmen or salior would never leave you, they would do everything they can to help you. At home it is often throw to the side and you can get lost and forgot about. But just rememeber that despite that there are always people to help you. If you need to talk to anyone you can message me and I can help you get the right people to help you. we are always here for you and their are tons of veteran groups and services out there to help. Stay strong buddy and we can do this together.
 
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