I'm going to start at the very beginning. When I was 16 years old I was in a very abusive relationship. After the relationship, only a few times, I cut myself, and was very traumatized. I had nightmares and flashbacks consistently. Over time, these diminished. But I wanted to be strong and do something to overcome it. So I joined the Air Force. I didn't report my depression because I didn't feel I was depressed. I thought it was a phase I could overcome.
Fast forward 6 months in the Air Force, and my command has me go to mental health after the loss of a teacher. When I go to mental health I explain that I am struggling slightly, but because of the relationship I ent through as a teenager. I am put on anti depressant meds, and for another 6 months, I am doing very well in the Air Force. I am a very successful airmen. After that 6 months, the bipolar symptoms begin to emerge. I experience severe mood swings and mania. I get in such a depressed state I don't shower, I don't clean my room, I get in a relationship during this time. And I'm not sure if it was the man I was with or the symptoms, but he, too, exhibits behaviors similar to my last abusive relationship.
I break up with him, and I go over the edge. I decide that night I'm going to kill myself.
But- I call for help instead. This is my first hospitalization.
The next three months are a series of struggling with severe symptoms of mania and depression. I'm put on all sorts of meds- a lot of sleeping pills and they really affect my sleep state. I had constantly overslept. I was getting in so much trouble at work for this. The more I got in trouble, the worse I got. I failed 4 room inspections- but 3 of these room inspections were done while I was in the hospital. I was hospitalized for 6 weeks and came straight back to a PT test which I predictably failed. All the stressors from my unsupportive command at work really affected my work production. I failed my CDC's and was pulled from pt care.
My supervisor wrote me an EPR because of all of this and rated me at 1.
Fast forward another 4 months and my MEB has come to a close. The VA rated me at 70% service connected... And the Air Force doesn't rate me simply stating my condition existed prior to service and that my recommended discharge was 'under other than honorable conditions'...
And it hurts. A lot. I've done so much and tried so hard. I've went through so much just like anyone else in the military. And instead of standing behind me, my command turns their back on me. My commander even told me once that his hands were tied and the reason all this disciplinary action came was because of military rules and I wasn't a bad airman.. So why did all this happen to me? Why am I being punished for seeking help? After getting the help I've needed I have become so much better and people notice. But I don't think the incident that happened when I was a child was a precursor of mental illness.. It was traumatic. And the symptoms that occurred while I was in the Air Force was nothing like I had experienced as a teenager.. Or ever.
My question was I can't change the AF's ratings. But after I'm out, how good of a chance do I have of upgrading my discharge? There are people who have had the same discharge as me that have done so much worse. I'm just at a loss and so frustrated.
Fast forward 6 months in the Air Force, and my command has me go to mental health after the loss of a teacher. When I go to mental health I explain that I am struggling slightly, but because of the relationship I ent through as a teenager. I am put on anti depressant meds, and for another 6 months, I am doing very well in the Air Force. I am a very successful airmen. After that 6 months, the bipolar symptoms begin to emerge. I experience severe mood swings and mania. I get in such a depressed state I don't shower, I don't clean my room, I get in a relationship during this time. And I'm not sure if it was the man I was with or the symptoms, but he, too, exhibits behaviors similar to my last abusive relationship.
I break up with him, and I go over the edge. I decide that night I'm going to kill myself.
But- I call for help instead. This is my first hospitalization.
The next three months are a series of struggling with severe symptoms of mania and depression. I'm put on all sorts of meds- a lot of sleeping pills and they really affect my sleep state. I had constantly overslept. I was getting in so much trouble at work for this. The more I got in trouble, the worse I got. I failed 4 room inspections- but 3 of these room inspections were done while I was in the hospital. I was hospitalized for 6 weeks and came straight back to a PT test which I predictably failed. All the stressors from my unsupportive command at work really affected my work production. I failed my CDC's and was pulled from pt care.
My supervisor wrote me an EPR because of all of this and rated me at 1.
Fast forward another 4 months and my MEB has come to a close. The VA rated me at 70% service connected... And the Air Force doesn't rate me simply stating my condition existed prior to service and that my recommended discharge was 'under other than honorable conditions'...
And it hurts. A lot. I've done so much and tried so hard. I've went through so much just like anyone else in the military. And instead of standing behind me, my command turns their back on me. My commander even told me once that his hands were tied and the reason all this disciplinary action came was because of military rules and I wasn't a bad airman.. So why did all this happen to me? Why am I being punished for seeking help? After getting the help I've needed I have become so much better and people notice. But I don't think the incident that happened when I was a child was a precursor of mental illness.. It was traumatic. And the symptoms that occurred while I was in the Air Force was nothing like I had experienced as a teenager.. Or ever.
My question was I can't change the AF's ratings. But after I'm out, how good of a chance do I have of upgrading my discharge? There are people who have had the same discharge as me that have done so much worse. I'm just at a loss and so frustrated.